We are all settling in nicely, establishing a family routine and recovering from Jet-Lag. The realist in me realizes that we have some difficult times ahead as we transition to school, continue to teach Samuel the English language, and find discipline methods that work for our family, but I also know that each day we will focus on progress and we will continue to feel grateful for having been given the responsibility and privilege of raising such an independent and dynamic little boy.
The adoption process has been a gift to us as we have met some of the most extraordinary and compassionate people along the way. We've enjoyed sharing stories, advice and the blessing of knowing someone is thinking about you and wishing you well as you begin a new chapter. But like all stories, they end sometime, and this is the conclusion of our adoption blog. I look forward to compiling these entries for Samuel so that he can one day read about the community of people who loved him and cared for him even before his existence was known. What a great story indeed.
"You will, in adopting this child, make the child your own. Your life will swerve to meet the child's - growing in tandem together." M.F. Greene
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
And so the Story Ends...
Posted by renee treat at 9:35 PM
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7 comments:
I just cannot stop thinking about your last posts. How do you even prepare your heart for such an exeperience!!!!! It has been a pleasure following your journey to Samuel. Oh, he is such a handsome boy! Please keep in touch! Thank you again for delivering the care packages to our girls. What a huge gift that was for us!
Blessings,
Kristy
Renee, you are gonna do great, you will all knit together as a family.
It will take time. Transition is hard. And a long process. Not to mention, adjusting to having a 5 yr old, from zero to major parenting issues, 0-60, in no time flat.
You know, email me if you want to talk ever....been through many many parenting ages and stages.
Also, and please take this w/ a grain of salt: one of my daughters has attachment issues. It is a murky water that..... but if I could tell you anything that might help this transition...... Samuel is going through phase ONE of multiple phases. The acting out you see now, doesn't mean much at all, except that he's a scared little boy. Period.
This phase seems like it's testing rules, but it's really testing LOVE and your committment to him. Love and Logic is awesome (took us about four kids to find it, so you are ahead of us!) but right now, his biggest need is for you to pick your battles and love him harder.....which doesn't mean you're gonna FEEL it, but just do love=serve=be there. Praise his doing what is right (even if it's done badly - stomping up stairs to put away books "thank you for putting away books" and ignore the bad behavior as much as you can) and that will turn the tide slowly but for real and provide the base of love that he is so afraid might not be there.
I'm sure you know all this already, but I want to encourage you to not make yourself crazy trying to be the perfect parent who can teach all the rules and ways and new world right away. Give yourself a break and just know that it's a messy hard process and you're gonna be great, he is too, and you will all make it through this and the hardness of this will eventually be just a memory. You're growing together each hour. Let it.
Sorry if I've said too much. I do that too often. But my heart aches for some of the hard I read in your posts...as I've lived them w/ some of the hard times we've had and still do w/ my daughter. So again, if you ever want to email or talk, email me and/or I'll send you my phone number. Been there, done that (not adopt a 5 yr old ET boy, but well, some of the same things) and I get it, I really do. You're gonna be a great mom to Samuel, you already are. hang in there!!!! and forgive me please, if I've overstepped........
So sad also to see you go! maybe someday in the near or far future you'll put up a blog on "here we are!!!" that'd be terrific!!!
Welcome home sweet family :). Can't wait to catch up on all your posts (um... when I have time? HA!).
God bless you!
becca
What a great story, indeed! Renee, put me on your list if you ever need to chat about older kids and some of the hurdles they face in transitioning to a new, and different, life. I feel like we are the lucky ones to get to parent such amazing children. Blessings to your family.
Carol
Renee, we miss you guys! Email me when you have a second. Loved reading the updates and seeing you guys at home, TOGETHER. My email is angekur@gmail...:)
Hi. I know you do not know me, but I also went to McMurry University. (small world, huh?) My cousin Ellen is adopting from Ethiopia and she sent me the link to your blog. Between what she has told me, and reading your blog, my husband (also an McM Alum) and I are considering adoption, and even possibly Ethiopia. I am so sad that you are done blogging, although I completely understand. You are an amazing writer, and I think you could publish a book if you wanted to. I respect your honesty and ability to self-evaluate. I believe that I am alot like you, as far as cherishing material possesions, etc...and it is so refreshing to see someone who does not mind "putting it out there", faults and all, for the world to see. You will be a wonderful mother, and I am so happy for you to have Samuel, and for Samuel to have y'all!! Thanks for sharing your experience with us. You have touched my heart (and others, I am sure!) more than you know.
Ala Cumba!
Julia Oldham
PS-Have you ever gotten really sad when a show you liked to watch went off the air, and you felt like you were so attached to the characters and story, and you could not get enough? That is how I feel about yall. Except its all real. I feel sad that I dont get to be an insider in your lives. That is so weird to me, since we have never met, but I feel this bond with you, just because of your brilliant writing. Thanks again! (haha, hope I dont sound like a weird stalker or something!)
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