The bed is made, the lamp is on, but still no sign of Samuel...

When we began this adoption journey I read every story, calculated every wait time, and made mental notes from those who had gone before us. I absolutely knew, without a doubt, that it would be feasible for us to travel in February.

When we began our wait period in December, I remember watching the clock, and when it struck 5:00 p.m. a huge sigh fell over me as I realized it would be another day without a referral. At that point, every ounce of hope that my body possessed simply vanished.

Looking back, I recall those days of anticipation and calculation with humor. After all, it is almost February and we don't have a court date, and we received our call 45 minutes after the "official" referral window. It is through such reflection that I recognize that not even the most Type A individual can organize everything!

I've been asked a lot lately how I'm doing as we enter the third week of waiting for a court date. And while I'm anxious to meet Samuel and bring him home, there is a reserved part of me that is desperately working to find peace in each moment we're apart. I think the time that passes between the referral and travel can be dangerous in a sense. I wonder if we don't falsely identify character traits or read too deeply into photographs? I wonder if we don't fill our minds with assumptions about who he/she will be and what will take place during our initial time together?

There is a part of me that remains so cautious right now because I don't want to limit Samuel by transferring my own thoughts, beliefs and wishes on him; instead I want to be open to the gift that will unfold as I'm given the opportunity to learn his heart, his spirit, and his uniqueness. This all sounds so absurd, coming from a Type A individual like myself, but I suppose it is this absurdity that reminds me I am indeed human.

I have to remind myself that while our home is ready, Samuel's bed is made, and his toys are tucked away in honor of his arrival, miles away there is a mother who is explaining the future to her son - preparing him for his American family. For me to petition God to speed up the process or hurry things along, certainly doesn't respect the time sensitive steps that need to take place in order for me to share the rest of my life with Samuel. Believe me, I would be on the next airplane to Ethiopia if I could, but Samuel's time isn't about me right now - it's about making peace with a culture from which he will soon be removed. Samuel's time is about honoring past friendships, embracing his loved ones, and finding a way - a way that perhaps only a child is capable of finding - to offer his faith to a process that remains a mystery to him.

I think about what courage Samuel must have; I imagine he must have a mighty heart to make sense of all of this. Perhaps children just don't know any better - they simply trust that someone is looking out for them, and that someone would move mountains, would cross oceans and tackle any obstacle just to pave a road for them. Perhaps for a child it isn't important how this process takes place or even why it takes place, it is simply what it is - a journey of faith. I wonder then, why it is so hard for me as an adult to remember that I too have such reasons to be faithful? I am once again reminded that I have a lot to learn.

Somewhere Out There

Somewhere out there sleeps a little boy who recently learned of his new American family.

I'm not an emotional person by nature - in fact I'm known around my office as being "rigid" and extremely Type A. I am not stirred by heartfelt stories, nor do I empathize the way I wish I could. However, I must tell you that I got a little teary eyed reading the below message from our case worker. Although simple in nature, I was touched by the content.

I'm not a childhood expert and I'm certainly not an expert on parenting, but I must take this opportunity to express what a privilege it has been to adopt an older child. When Todd and I set out to adopt, I was asked every question known to man, "Can you not have children of your own?" and "Are you afraid you won't love him the way you would love a biological child?" The questions themselves do not bother me, as everyone has a right to ask questions, but what bothers me is that adoption is viewed by many as a last resort - not as an opportunity to heed a call.

To be honest, I am filled with gratitude on this quest to adopt an older child. I feel honored and excited to have been afforded the chance to take him to kindergarten, to teach him to ride a bike and the complexity of the English language. I look forward to reading him bedtime stories and playing Candy Land....but most of all, as selfish as it sounds, I look forward to receiving the type of love and acceptance only a child can provide an adult.

I commend parents who raise infants and surround them with love; we need more parents who take this responsibility seriously. But, there is a special place in my heart for parents who take on the role of raising a child who might otherwise be "forgotten". It is my firm belief that the plot of land on which you were born, and the quality of the roof above your head should not determine your quality of life - but rather, life should be about each of us maximizing our potential and human spirit to the best of our ability.

To speak about adoption in terms of infertility and one's ability to love a child who is not biolgoically theirs, is ridiculous. The subject of human life deserves so much more reverence than this. We adopt because we are blessed with opportunity to be a part of something bigger than ourselves - and if the God I know and love is capable of loving a lost sheep like myself, there's hope that I will find all the strength and confidence I need to pass it on to Samuel.

Someone said to me, "Knowing that you aren't infertile makes your adopting more admirable." I laughed...admirable? Samuel's mom - that's who we should admire. A woman who wanted so much for her son that she was willing to let him move to another country so that he could develop into the man he was destined to be. Adoption isn't about becoming a hero - it's about meeting and extending your home to heroes.

I complain when I'm not recognized enough at work, when there's nothing good on television, when people don't put up their shopping carts at the grocery store. Samuel finds contentment in rice and orange soda; he dreams of kindergarten, loves to build things and finds happiness in his friendships despite the fact that materially - he has nothing. The truth is, he doesn't need me to teach him nearly as much as I need him to teach me.

Letter sent to our caseworker:

Samuel got the Treat family’s letter today. Abiy (one of our Gladney workers) delivered it to him this evening. Abiy said that Samuel was very excited, and that he told Abiy he was happy! Abiy also mentioned that Samuel was glad there were pictures.

Samuel Quinn

Well it looks as though we have a name folks and that Todd and I have actually agreed on something for the first time in our marriage....(yes I am kidding)...

My new friend Debbie, who is adopting Kuri, said that this "wait time" is by far even more difficult because you know your child is out there but you can't do anything about it. I would agree that the waiting does seem more intense these days. I find myself asking all sorts of questions:
What will he be like?
How will he respond to us?
How much will he understand about the transition?
Are my maternal instincts going to kick in when I get there?

We wrote Samuel a letter this week so that he could become acquainted with who we are. I must admit, writing a letter to a 6 year old (yes I said 6 and I'll address that later) is far more difficult than writing to an adult! The process must have taken me an hour, after I deleted every previous attempt. Such pressure - trying to win the heart of a young little man!

This week we also found out that Samuel is indeed 6. The doctor thought he was 5 but his mother confirmed that his birthday is actually November 13, 1994. For those of you gasping right now, please realize Ethiopia just celebrated the milinium and therefore Samuel is not a teenager! It is a different world for sure!

In the meantime, we are trying to keep busy so that our anxiety does not get the best of us. We are completing our education credits, preparing his room, gathering items for humanitarian aid, checking out kindergarten procedures, and of course dreaming about our little boy.

I'm hoping for a speedy court and travel date - but the logical part of me anticipates that it will be late Feb. or early March before we can bring him home.

All is well in the Treat household...

Is that you Ethan-O?

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls -

It gives me great pleasure to introduce to you Samuel (pronounced Sam-Well). Our case-worker called last night around 6 p.m. to share the good news with us. Samuel just turned 5 in November, loves to build things, enjoys school, is gentle and playful, and did I mention quite possibly the most handsome boy I've ever seen? Obviously we are on cloud 9.

We officially accepted the referral this afternoon. The next step will be for our case to be placed on the court docket in Addis Ababa. Once the court approves our petition, we will make travel arrangements and bring Samuel home to us.

The entire referral process is so surreal! A call comes, you sift through numerous papers and documents, visit with your physician (thanks Peter!) and then share the news with your family.... the entire thing has become such a blur to us.

Although we haven't decided on a name yet, we are certain about this, "Life doesn't get much better than this!"

Samuel - we can't wait for you to meet Grand-Den and Grand-Dave...They already have toys waiting and a room that you will absolutely love to play in! We can't wait for you to meet Nana and Papa who are looking forward to cooking and building with you. Grace, Maggie and Will will finally have a cousin, and Tricia and Peter will be the best aunt and uncle you could ever imagine! I know you will enjoy spending lots of time with the Reed family. Just don't let Will teach you to head-butt....

You will also have 3 older cousins, Elizabeth, Kristen and Kathy, whom I know will shower you with adoration. And of course, Mama Lee and Papa D. will be anxious to meet you, along with the entire Jeter/Trevino clan!

You don't know it yet, but you're going to have a lot of names to remember! We are excited to introduce you to our family and can't wait for you to learn more about us. Hopefully you will think we are as wonderful as we know you are going to be!