A sermon got me thinking... Our pastor used a video clip that I've yet to forget:
In 1994 a movie was released titled, "The Air up There". Jimmy Dolan is a college basketball assistant-coach who wants to find a new star for his team since he believes this will get him a promotion to Head Coach at the school. He sees a home video of a prospect and travels to Africa to recruit him. Upon arriving to this continent, Dolan finds himself confronted not only with the challenges of basketball but also with the challenges of adjusting to and learning how to live in the midst of a brand-new culture. Perhaps the most inspring scene is when Jimmy is sent on a journey to climb to the top of a mountain and he is told he must leave something of significance behind. So he does, he pitches his championship ring in the air - sending it sailing off into the abyss.
Today begins a season of Lent and with such a season we are called to "rid" ourselves of some luxury, excess or personal desire. I think about this movie moment and wonder what it is I am clinging to and what it is I need to delete from my daily living in order to be more concientious and alert to what it means to have authentic gratitude.
I wonder if I've truly even experienced real, sincere gratitude. How could I? I'm surrounded by excess and commercialism that tells me to "live comfortably." At Christmas, I receive so many presents that the next day, I can't even tell you what I received. I throw away things that I no longer need and waste far more than should be acceptable. Have I? Have I ever experienced real gratitude?
I find myself growing impatient with this waiting period. I find myself in a mindset of "I deserve to hear something this week; afterall, I've waited so long." The truth is that I don't deserve anything, and nothing I can do, say or prove makes me any more worthy of Samuel. However, this feeling, this yearning may well be the first time I've ever experienced anything close to authentic gratitude.
There's a quote that has become my mantra "Nothing good can come into your life without a true sense of gratitude." This quote, this simple statement, petitions me to live more simply, to let go of excess, to rid myself of as much greed as possible - and instead to focus on those things for which I am truly grateful.
40 days... that's how long I have to find ways to personally fast and abstain from those habits which bind me to living from the outside in. For many, Lent symbolizes a time of quiet reverence in order to "hear" and "accept" a new perspective.
I ask myself, "What is it I would pitch over the side of the mountain?" I ask myself if I could truly bare to live without those things which I've deemed so 'essential' to my daily life? And I think about Samuel, what he goes without, the things he doesn't even know he should desire, and a part of me feels so humbled.
Recently we received updated photos of Samuel - in clothes much too large for his frame, tattered, worn. I found myself saddened for him, feeling sorry for him and his lack of 'adequate' (whatever that word means) clothing. But I realize, the person I should be feeling sorry for is myself - because these things are so important to me, because I am so consumed with personal appearance and doing what it takes to get ahead. It got me wondering just what our world would be like if we didn't know any better... if we just simply lived with what we could find, with what we could borrow and most of all, what we could share.
To be honest, I don't know what it is I will give up for this season of Lent. Perhaps instead I will "take on" a new attitude of gratitude and remain mindful that I want to raise Samuel to be who he is now, in his purest childlike state - a boy who accepts hand-me-downs without shame, a boy whose pride doesn't overpower his character, and most of all a boy who still sees the world as an inherently good place.
Pitch, Pitch.... what am I clinging to?
In 1994 a movie was released titled, "The Air up There". Jimmy Dolan is a college basketball assistant-coach who wants to find a new star for his team since he believes this will get him a promotion to Head Coach at the school. He sees a home video of a prospect and travels to Africa to recruit him. Upon arriving to this continent, Dolan finds himself confronted not only with the challenges of basketball but also with the challenges of adjusting to and learning how to live in the midst of a brand-new culture. Perhaps the most inspring scene is when Jimmy is sent on a journey to climb to the top of a mountain and he is told he must leave something of significance behind. So he does, he pitches his championship ring in the air - sending it sailing off into the abyss.
Today begins a season of Lent and with such a season we are called to "rid" ourselves of some luxury, excess or personal desire. I think about this movie moment and wonder what it is I am clinging to and what it is I need to delete from my daily living in order to be more concientious and alert to what it means to have authentic gratitude.
I wonder if I've truly even experienced real, sincere gratitude. How could I? I'm surrounded by excess and commercialism that tells me to "live comfortably." At Christmas, I receive so many presents that the next day, I can't even tell you what I received. I throw away things that I no longer need and waste far more than should be acceptable. Have I? Have I ever experienced real gratitude?
I find myself growing impatient with this waiting period. I find myself in a mindset of "I deserve to hear something this week; afterall, I've waited so long." The truth is that I don't deserve anything, and nothing I can do, say or prove makes me any more worthy of Samuel. However, this feeling, this yearning may well be the first time I've ever experienced anything close to authentic gratitude.
There's a quote that has become my mantra "Nothing good can come into your life without a true sense of gratitude." This quote, this simple statement, petitions me to live more simply, to let go of excess, to rid myself of as much greed as possible - and instead to focus on those things for which I am truly grateful.
40 days... that's how long I have to find ways to personally fast and abstain from those habits which bind me to living from the outside in. For many, Lent symbolizes a time of quiet reverence in order to "hear" and "accept" a new perspective.
I ask myself, "What is it I would pitch over the side of the mountain?" I ask myself if I could truly bare to live without those things which I've deemed so 'essential' to my daily life? And I think about Samuel, what he goes without, the things he doesn't even know he should desire, and a part of me feels so humbled.
Recently we received updated photos of Samuel - in clothes much too large for his frame, tattered, worn. I found myself saddened for him, feeling sorry for him and his lack of 'adequate' (whatever that word means) clothing. But I realize, the person I should be feeling sorry for is myself - because these things are so important to me, because I am so consumed with personal appearance and doing what it takes to get ahead. It got me wondering just what our world would be like if we didn't know any better... if we just simply lived with what we could find, with what we could borrow and most of all, what we could share.
To be honest, I don't know what it is I will give up for this season of Lent. Perhaps instead I will "take on" a new attitude of gratitude and remain mindful that I want to raise Samuel to be who he is now, in his purest childlike state - a boy who accepts hand-me-downs without shame, a boy whose pride doesn't overpower his character, and most of all a boy who still sees the world as an inherently good place.
Pitch, Pitch.... what am I clinging to?
4 comments:
Awesome perspective. Thanks so much for taking the time to write that. We are waiting too... and I love that we don't deserve anything... helps with the wait, and helps me to realize I should be grateful for all that has happened so far, and trust that God will lead us forward, too.
waiting with you...
becca
What a wonderful thought provoking blog! Thanks for sharing your heart with us!
Blessings,
Kristy
Beautiful, Renee. You write so well and are so inspiring.
Praying that you'll hear very soon when your court date is and that it will be a quick one.
Blessings,
Debbie
I say we all give up the bliss of ignorance and do something to help those who need it most.
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